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You and Your Newborn Baby: A Guide to the First Months After Birth Excerpts from the book by Linda Todd
Becoming a good parent means much more than knowing a lot about babies.

Signs of Illness in a Newborn.
Many parents doubt whether they will recognize if the baby is sick. When you have no experience with babies, being told that a sick baby behaves differently from a well baby is of little comfort. If everything about your baby seems unfamiliar, it is hard to have confidence that you can and will recognize changes that indicate your baby is ill. Besides, healthy babies can cry for a couple of hours each day. Crying does not tell you as much in the first weeks as it will when your baby is older. So how will you know if your baby is sick? Asking yourself these questions may help:

Is there a change in the baby's behavior? Is the baby crying more than usual? Has the tone of the cry changed? Is the crying at a different time of day than usual? Is the baby more irritable than usual? Is the baby sleeping more or less than usual? Does the baby seem lethargic or listless?

Has the baby's appetite or digestion changed? Is the baby eating less than usual? Has the baby vomited more than once? If the baby is vomiting, is the vomiting forceful? (This is called projectile vomiting.) Are there signs of constipation? That is, are the stools hard or more solid than usual? Are there signs of diarrhea? That is, are the stools watery, or more runny than usual? Are they more frequent than usual? Is the baby urinating less frequently than usual? Has the color of the urine changed?

Has there been a change in the baby's breathing? Does the baby seem to have trouble breathing? Does the baby sound congested? Does the baby have a runny or stuffy nose? Is the baby coughing?

How does the baby look? Is the baby's skin pale or flushed? Is there a rash anywhere on the baby's body? Do the baby's eyes look glassy or dull? Is there any discharge from the eyes?

Does the baby have a fever?
Any of these changes could indicate illness. If you notice any of them, or other worrisome changes in your baby, call your baby's care-giver. When you call the office, be prepared to describe:

• The signs of illness about which you are concerned.
• How long the signs have been present.

What you need: to have the caregiver return your call; to speak to the caregiver immediately, if you feel this is an emergency; or to arrange for the baby to be seen as soon as possible.

Crib Safety Tips
If you have a used crib or are considering buying one

• Make sure it has no corner posts. Older infants can catch clothing on these.
• 
• Check that the crib slats are no more than 2 3/8 inches apart. Never put a baby in a crib that has missing slats.
• Make sure that the mattress is firm, and that it fits tightly within the crib rails, with no more than a 1-inch space (two fingers width) between the rails and the mattress.
• Assure yourself that all guide rods and support brackets are firmly in place and secure, and that no screws are missing.
• Check the locks and latches on the crib. They should be smooth, and tight enough to prevent accidental release.
• Be certain the paint used on the crib is lead-free. If it isn't, the old paint should be removed. If you're pregnant or nursing, have someone else do the stripping, preferably away from your home, or at least outside the house and away from any play or garden area. New paint should be a high-quality, lead-free enamel recommended for children's furniture. Some babies do chew on their cribs, and ingesting lead can cause brain damage.

If your crib is new, remove and discard all plastic packaging materials, including the thin plastic mattress cover. As with a used crib, check the guide rods, support brackets, locks, and latches, and make sure no screws are missing. With any crib, new or old

• Place the crib out of reach of any cords, electrical sockets, or other hazards.
• Keep crib rails up at all times when the baby is unattended.
• As soon as your baby can pull himself or herself up, move the mattress to the lowest position. There should be at least 22 inches between the mattress and the top of the rail.

If you plan to use a bassinet or cradle instead of a crib, many of these same safety tips will still apply.

Some Basics about Feeding
Expectant parents know they will have a lot to learn after their babies arrive. They know it will take time to feel confident about diapering, bathing, and soothing a baby. Most have been told that feeding, too, will be a learning experience. It is not until after the birth, however, that the true meaning of this is dear. Parents often say they had not anticipated that the baby, too, would need to learn to feed. Also unanticipated is the profound concern parents have that their babies be adequately nourished.

Even as adults, many people are greeted by their mothers with the questions "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?" These are questions you will find yourself asking your baby. It is natural for you to feel somewhat anxious when the baby's answers are not as clear as you might like. Following are some basics about feeding that can guide you as you gain experience.

Postpartum Fathers
Feelings After Birth
Fathers who are present at birth are, more often than mothers, captured by the baby immediately. Whereas women may need minutes, hours, or a few days to feel connected to the baby, fathers often feel the power of this connection at the moment of birth. Unless the mother or baby is in some danger just after birth, the father is likely to find these moments life-changing and exquisite. These feelings are often blended with a sudden awareness of exhaustion.

A father also experiences new feelings about his mate. He may speak of his amazement at her courage, strength, and endurance during labor. He now faces the task of integrating his memory of her in labor with his previous knowledge and feelings about her.

A father may have to work through feelings he experienced while supporting the mother in labor. One of the most common feelings fathers speak about after labor is that of helplessness. Unless he is told, a man may not know how much his presence and emotional support really meant to the laboring woman.

A man may also feel that the labor experience has altered his whole life view. He may have gained a sense of the miraculous and spiritual, of a deeper meaning to life.

Not all fathers, of course, are able to share the birth experience. A lot of fathers who missed their babies' births worry that not having been there will affect their relationships with their babies. Birth is a special moment in the parent-child relationship, but it is only one moment. The years of child rearing provide many other shared moments that are just as important in the development of a relationship between father and child.

Back to Part One here.

Click here for more information about You and Your Newborn Baby: A Guide to the First Months After Birth.