The ‘I Hate Hospitals’ Guide to Childbirth

By Shel Franco

When Hannah Hayes of Chicago, Ill., was two weeks past her due date, the obstetrician told her it was time to check into the hospital. Many women would breathe a sigh of relief that their pregnancy was ending. But for Hayes, hospital admission meant extra anxiety.

"I cried all that day and all the next. I knew I'd never sleep and kept saying over and over, ‘I can't stay here. I hate it, I hate it,’" she recalls.

Whether it was a traumatic childhood experience or even the death of a loved one, hospitals can produce all sorts of emotions. If you find the delivery day trip to the hospital more than a little unnerving, Karen Kohls, a certified doula in Madison, Wis. offers these tips and tricks to get through the biggest day of your life.

Spend More Time at Home
Peg Louden of Summit, N.J., planned to stay at home as long as possible. By the time she and her husband arrived on the maternity floor, there wasn’t time to get nervous.

"We only had 45 minutes before the birth," she says.

Louden felt so well after the delivery, she thought about going home the very next day. While she ultimately decided to extend her hospital stay, some women do manage to convince their doctors to allow an early discharge.

Although it took some arm-twisting to get released, Patrysha Korchinski of Cadotte Lake, Alberta, Can., couldn’t have been happier with her decision to leave shortly after the birth of her baby.

"I was feeling fine and was able to sleep as soon as I got home," she says.

In order to be successful at your attempt to stay home well into labor and leave shortly after birth, Kohls says women should hire a doula, learn to check their own cervix, and arrange for good postpartum care.

She reminds women that arriving at the hospital too early is not a jail term.

"Go home if you arrive at the hospital not as dilated as you would like or take walks around the outside of the hospital or the neighborhood," she adds.

Bring Home to the Hospital
Once you’ve been admitted, Kohls says the key to staying calm is bringing bits of home to you.

Your favorite music, your own clothes, your own pillow, your own robe, slippers, blanket, pictures or posters and aromatherapy are all things Kohls suggests to relieve anxiety.

You can take things a step further and ask your significant other or friends to bring in food from the outside world. For some women, hospital foods are depressing. After you’ve done all that work, you deserve a feast!

Limit the Key Players
Make sure you are well supported. Your husband, doula or friends can be a real help when it comes to communicating with the staff. Let them know what you need to stay comfortable and allow them to relay those requests to the doctors and nurses. This go-between can also be the one to fill out paper work and answer routine questions while you are in the throws of labor.

In addition, Kohls says that women have the right to deny access to extra medical personnel, such as medical students, if their presence heightens anxiety. After the baby is born, she suggests putting a Do Not Disturb sign on the door. By maintaining some sense of privacy, you can go about the business of mothering without constant interruptions.

Be Honest With Yourself
There are alternatives to hospital birth. Freestanding birth clinics and homebirth with a qualified professional are increasingly acceptable ways to give birth. Still, many women, despite their dislike of hospitals, cannot or will not choose an alternative.

"Often when I talk with women about why they really are making the decisions they are making, they are honest with themselves about why they really want to be in the hospital . . . and -- surprise, surprise -- the hospital stuff seems much less of a hassle, because they know they belong there and that belonging comes with certain hoops to jump through."

Before the big day, list the reasons why you want to birth in a hospital. Then keep that paper on hand whenever you start to panic. Before you know it, Baby will be born, and you’ll have a whole new list of worries to deal with.

Want to see more? Calming Pregnancy Fears How to Pack for the Hospital Think Labor Will Hurt? Hypnosis Might Help!

About the Author: Shel Franco is an iParenting assistant editor, who lives in Pennsylvania with her husband Todd and two sons.